I used to always laugh when people talked about having 'haters' because I just thought that sounded so... well, silly.
I mean, seriously? Haters? hah.
But for the first time in my life, I'm beginning to see that jealousy truly is an ugly demon. It possesses the very mind and soul of someone; taking hold of their rationality, sanity, and any hope for common sense. Without taking the time to think clearly or in any type of adult fashion, they lose themselves in this blind oblivion, indirectly bowing down to the very person they're "hating" on.
Its SO sad!
My parents raised me better. They taught me I have everything and everyone I need at any given time. So why envy? What's the point? What a detrimental waste of time and effort... and space, on your part.
Darling, you know who you are. Young, stupid, and utterly pathetic.
Get your head out of your ass and get your life in line. You are a joke.
You don't know anything about me and my life, so go ahead and try to get one of your own.
I'll pray for you! ;)
" We live in interesting times. We’re blessed that way.
The world is changing rapidly.
The way we work is changing, the way we live has already changed. Entire industries are crumbling, and more are growing on their ruins. People are empowered to express themselves, to create, to become a part of a global conversation and transformation, in a way that has never existed before.
What will you do with that?
What will your place be in this new, interesting world? Will you have a voice? Will you be a creator, or just a consumer?
Do something.
Do something interesting.
Be a part of the conversation, and say something remarkable. Create something unique, new, beautiful. Build upon the works of others and transform it into your own.
How to do this?
Write a book. Or an ebook. Write poetry and publish it on the web.
Create interesting, lovely or funny videos, put them on You Tube. Be
passionate. Write a web app that will solve a problem in people’s
lives. Become a watchdog to replace the faltering newspapers. Explore
the world, and blog about it. Try something you’ve always been afraid
to try, and put it on video. Be yourself, loudly. Start a new company,
doing only one thing, but doing it very well. Start a business that
does a service you’ve always wanted, or that you are frustrated with in
other companies because the service sucks. Put your heart into
something. Say something that no one else dares to say. Do something
others are afraid to do. Help someone no one else cares to help. Make
the lives of others better. Make music that makes others want to weep,
to laugh, to create. Inspire others by being inspiring. Teach young
people to do amazing things. Write a play, get others to act in it,
record it. Empower others to do things they’ve never been able to do
before. Read, and read, and then write. Love, and love, and then help
others to love. Do something good and ask others to pass it on. Be
profound. Find focus in a world without it. Become minimalist in a
world of dizzying complexity. Reach out to those who are frustrated,
depressed, angry, confused, sad, hurt. Be the voice for those without
one. Learn, do, then teach. Meet new people, become fast friends. Dare
to be wrong. Take lots and lots of pictures. Explore new cultures. Be
different. Paint a huge mural. Create a web comic. Be a dork, but do it
boldly. Interview people. Observe people. Create new clothes. Take old
stuff and make new stuff from it. Read weird stuff. Study the greats,
and emulate them. Be interested in others. Surprise people. Start a
blog, write at least a little each day. Cook great food, and share it.
Be open-minded. Help someone else start a small business. Focus on less
but do it better. Help others achieve their dreams. Put a smile on
someone’s face, every day. Start an open-source project. Make a
podcast. Start a movement. Be brave. Be honest. Be hilarious. Get
really, really good at something. Practice a lot. A lot. Start now. Try. "
credit: http://zenhabits.net/2009/09/do-interesting-things/#more-4346
...hahaha, I can't believe its been that long since I last posted! :) I guess I've just been super-duper-busy.
Let's see....
I finished up Spring semester with a bang,
vacationed at Puerto Rico & South Padre Island,
took a quick Anatomy & Physiology course,
cruised to Jamaica, Grand Cayman & Cozumel,
floated the Guadalupe River w/friends,
and took in some extra hours at work :)
WHEW!
Now I'm rolling into Fall semester with Microbiology, Anatomy & Physiology II, and Critical Writing and Developmental Psych online >< ay yi yi... only me... but I'm sure I'll do fine. I've started off on the right foot.
I'm definitely still working on growing as a person... spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
As my days get busier, my mind becomes increasingly occupied with trivial things, so I'm working on avoiding that.
I've taken up yoga, deep breathing, and am on a path to revise my diet again :) Clean body, clean spirit !
Other than that, I'm trying not to let demons of my past (or bothersome thoughts of my mind) drag me down.
With the heavy material I'm taking in class, I have NO available time or effort for that junk.
I need to focus.
Otherwise, life is good, God is great, and I am forever thankful :)
Eyes forward, doubts behind.
Until next time!
x o x o
water (especially flooding)
magnetic forces
vibrations (of painful altitudes)
silent loudness, white noise
the love you take is equal to the love you make :)
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
I realized that I live either too much in the past or too much in the future-- or what I dread it to be.
I sit here and plot out my every week, month, even year. I have lists and expectations on what I should be doing, how to get there, and what not to do to get there. I have firmly set standards for my future that have turned into cages.
Worst of all, I sit here and worry about events that haven't even occurred yet. How silly is that?
Instead of soaking in the beautiful present that I've been blessed with, I either remorse over things in the past that I can't change, or fret about things that haven't even happened. I'm so worried about what's down the road... why?
Again, I need to take a step back, take a deep breath, and just let it be.
Know and accept that I am not in control, but everything will work out just fine. It always does.
Life has always been a battle of need vs. want... it is time for me to grow up and realize that I truly do have absolutely everything I could ever need; my wants are such selfish, petty desires, that only seem to do me harm.
Everything I need has always been right in front of me and its about time I stop ignoring that.
Focusing on the here and now is crucial to growth. Crucial to true happiness, joy.
Seeing outside yourself, beyond your hectic, self-absorbed bubble is the only way to live life to the fullest.
I find that when I cloud my mind with toxic fears and regrets of the past and future, I only stop myself from truly living, loving, and experiencing the world around me. I am quickly losing time, wasting it on petty thoughts. I don't want to miss anything breath-taking, passionate, or beautiful any longer-- I want to be here, physically, mentally, and emotionally with vibrancy. I'm so tired of living in a haze of dependency, of hopeless holding-on.
I'm better than that, I'm worth more than that, and I deserve more than that.
I've packed a change of clothes and its time to move on.
the farther we extract ourselves from "reality" (or what we've made it out to be) the closer we are to God.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
I mean, I just thought of these simple things I'd like to occur, and they did.
How?!?!? This is really blowing my mind.
And everything seems to be spinning in the right direction for me. Everything.
Everything is beautiful.
Once I gave up the reigns, admitted I had no control, and let Him take over, it all becomes so beautiful.
Lennon's inspiration for lyrics in "Across the Universe" were from his former wife, Cynthia, when she was "going on and on about something" in that "words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup".
I remembered something.
Kenny Loggins' "Danny's Song" has the phrase,
"Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, Drink it up, Love her and she'll bring you luck."
Shoulda stuck with that one, man ;) Yoko seemed to only bring about your demise, heehee.........
So an old friend of mine and I started talking about this stuff the other day. It seemed so random that the both of us would suddenly be so struck by these concepts, these ideas, that would lead us to know to talk to each other about it. Random and unlikely, but it happened.
Today I was wondering "why me?" or "why anyone else?". As in, why do some people in particular struggle with these thoughts and feelings, and not other people? Why do some people crave that knowledge so badly and why don't others? Is that ultimate knowledge detrimental?
And I recalled the first fictional sci-fi novel I ever fell in love with. The Giver by Lois Lowry.
I'm sure I was around 12 (or whatever age 5th grade is) when reading this. It started off as any simple reading assignment... but then it struck me. I finished the entire book in one night, which is quite a feat for a spontaneous, attention-drained kid like I was. Something about the novel reached out to me and it felt so extraordinary- I cried on those last few pages. You see, Jonas (the main character) is born into a Utopian society where the citizens know nothing of pain, struggle, or well, any other negative emotional. All they know is life, and beauty, and happiness. But the peak is reached when you realize: you can't have true happiness without knowing true sadness. That balance must exist as it always does. (Entropy is always countered by perfect order, somehow.) So Jonas' task is to receive memories of the old world (and all that came with) from the "Giver", an elderly man who kept those memories secret from citizens. At first the responsibility seems like an honor, like something fun and interesting (as life usually does) but then there are also countless ...ugly... memories, too. Starvation, abuse, hatred, and so on. It is Jonas' job to receive and store this knowledge, making sure he keeps it hidden from the Utopian citizens so they won't have to experience 'ugly' feelings. Eventually he realizes how wrong this is and abandons the city, which then leads all of the memories -good and bad- to be leaked out into the public... once true knowledge & awareness comes, there is a bit of grief, but there is overall joy. Beautiful music is heard everywhere-- this brought me to tears.
I'm not a self-centered person at all. To entertain these ideas of 'knowing' something is very bothersome to me, personally, because I don't see myself as any more special or deserving than anyone else. I'm just another speck in the infinite universe, so again, "Why Me?". Maybe its more like, "Why not?". I mean, I could just possibly be some human transport of this information. A capsule. Maybe that's a bit morbid, maybe not. I do wish I could serve some greater benefit to society...
As we all know, Eve was first to partake in that famous apple from the Tree of Knowledge (of good AND evil), against warning. Once that shield, that bubble of faith, was broken -- all hell broke loose (literally). So here we are, living in sin and all the turmoil that accompanies it, but how do we get back? If we're in hell, how do we get back to Eden, or Heaven? (What do titles matter, anyhow) If Jesus is that branch between the two realities, when will He come to us? I think that's where I'm going with this. I feel as if a number of people will know that He is coming soon, and a rebirth will occur (a rebirth of life as we know it). I choose not to see this as an ugly, negative event, but something rejuvenating and beautiful. But can we put dates on God? Can we limit Him like that? I think not, but who knows. Maybe it isn't so much limiting Him, but Him revealing information for our own benefit, for His children.
And there are further ideas about numbers and dates, but I hesitate getting into that out of fear of sounding like a Jim Carey ripoff ;) Or reaching that level of uber-cheese. So I won't explore that just yet.
Right now, all I am sure of is Love.
God is Love. (and that's what we're "supposed" to do).
I know these thoughts give me chills; they make me feel so anxious, but a good kind of anxious, where its a combination of fear but yet excited interest. The way I feel about other unknowns (deep sea, deep space).
One more thing: Today, even my little iPod struck me :)
"Across the Universe" from the movie soundtrack came on & I thought to myself: "Gee, I wish it were another version" so next song? Fiona Apple's version. Very odd. (I had it on shuffle) And then the lyrics....
"Jai guru deva om,
(Thanks be to God, my ultimate Teacher, giver of knowledge)
Nothing's gonna change my world."
(Maybe its not so much my world, as in my personal existence, but the world around me. Or maybe vice versa.)
